Conversations Involving a Notebook
by Woodswolf
Summary: Striking a deal with someone always turns out interesting. Even as she's trying to kill me, she can't - I'm giving her what I know she wants. *No set universe*
1. One

_(A/N): Yep. I've created yet another story that I probably will not finish for a long time. But I've been wanting to do this for a long time, so it's okay. :P  
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_I just wanted to put the truth out there, the exact answer for 'why I like killing characters'._

**CONVERSATIONS INVOLVING A NOTEBOOK:** ONE

"You know," I said, waiting, "that I can help you. If we can set a deal up, you can win. And win. And win. And win. Over and over and over again. I already have a few for you to collect, if you want them."

The dark shape did not answer. It fidgeted in the corner, urging me to continue.

"Come, humor me," I continued. "If you're going to attempt to kill me, I can just use my vast source of power -" I waved the notebook, "- to kill you right back. A million times over. We can make a deal. I know we can. We have a common enemy we both want rid of. I wouldn't say _enemy_ necessarily, though... there was a time and a place for you to lose and her to win. There were many times and places. But there were more when you won."

The dark shape, sitting in the corner, shot out a metallic appendage, easily dodgeable. I sidestepped it.

"I have my notebook right here," I said, showing it the notebook again. "And the pen. Or _a_ pen, I should say... I could use a different one to kill you, but I like to use the same pen for everything I write."

The metallic appendage receded into the corner again. It waited.

"How do you want to die?" I asked it. "How do you want to be destroyed for what you did? How do you want to be punished?"

_"Not at all,"_ the creature said. _"Please."_

"Sometimes..." I replied, "No isn't a good answer."

I wrote something down in the notebook, and the monster collapsed in pain.

"If you think you'll be able to kill me, you should give up your hopes," I told it. "Now... why don't you show me what I want to see?"

The shadow melted away from the corner it was guarding to reveal a small door.

"Thank you," I said, turning the key. "I owe you."

_"How about... your soul?"_

"I can't accept that deal."

_"Your death?"_

"You never were one for good deals, were you? I could say that you were... but it would be a lie."

The shadows shifted, revealing a black button or two.

_"My whole world is a lie, and you're complaining about my deals?"_

"I happen to have my own motives, thank you."

...

"Thank you," I told the creature, once again wrapped in shadow. "This is a decent down payment..."

I looked around the room once again. It was an exact replica of what I had only seen in movies. I had longed to be in this room since before time began. And now I was.

I held up my notebook to the shadows. "So... how about we look at these drafts I have?"

The monster stared at me. _"Go on,"_ it urged.

"Take it," I said. "But I'm keeping the pen. And even if you tried to kill me, I am the only one that can make those pages reality."

The dark shape flipped through the notebook, completely full of dark black ink. Stopping on a random page, it read for a little while.

_"I like death,"_ it said. _"But this is better than death. This is a thousand deaths."_

"And there will be more than that," I replied. "I have already published a few. Would you like to collect?"

The shadow-being nodded.

I took a small pouch out of my pocket and dumped it on the long table. Around fifteen small, silvery marbles rolled across it and fell on the floor.

There was silence for a while, except for the clinking of the marbles and the glass rolling on the dark wood.

_"You've been at this for a while, I see,"_ it whispered, with the sound of barely more than an air current.

"The many 'yous' from alternate universes are excited about this. They gave them willingly, hoping that one who failed can have a happy revenge," I told the shadowy form, slowly growing more solid as it gathered up the marbles. "But they said there was a... condition... that they wanted satisfied."

The monster, fully healed by the collection, glanced up.

"Can you guess?" I asked the being, which looked enchantingly beautiful now - beyond human.

"Oh, yes," the former shadow-creature said, with a voice now as light and soft as a feather."They want me to try to kill you."

"It really is too bad that you can't kill me because of this 'deal'," I said. "I would have greatly enjoyed a foray into a _dangerous_ alternate universe."

"Stop paying and I might try," the siren sang.

I laughed. "Oh, I won't stop paying any time soon."

...

"I will have them to you by next month," I said. "The payment."

"All five?" the beauty answered.

"All five. And then I expect _my_ payment," I said, absentmindedly clicking the pen. The healthy monster's eyes followed the tip of the ballpoint very carefully.

"Fair is fair, even if I don't like playing by it," she said. "But… I thought about what you said earlier… what would you do if I could give that to you? How much would you pay for that?"

I thought it over for a little while. "Ten, maybe fifteen. It depends. By then you'd have twenty-five or thirty. I might actually be picking up another client soon, so it might be longer before I could get it to you."

The not-quite-human woman tapped her eye with a restored finger. "I can see things. I don't expect Elphaba to want very many souls, considering that she's _dead._"

"I've arranged things in an alternate universe… she wants the girl dead, she doesn't care about what happens in between. You want souls, she just wants the kid out of the way. Simple - well, not really, I guess... she _does_ want me to retrieve a possession that the girl stole."

"If you pick up too many clients, I may have to kill you," the monster said, looking at her red fingernails with a disgusted look on her face, as if there was a spot where the polish had peeled away, or she had an ugly hangnail.

"And if you do, then the people I work for come and find and kill you. Self-security. Even if you try to be quiet about it, I will tell my schedule to all my clients, so that if I don't show up, they know who to kill. If you _were_ going to kill me, you would kill me right now, before I go and pick up my second," I grinned.

"Fine, you win. I don't like saying that, but I had to. And how long would it be if I gave you the opportunity to relive _it_?" she asked, smiling slightly.

"Might be fun," I chuckled. "But if I'm gone for too long, it'll seem like I'm dead, and it will be longer before I can collect them."

"So I assume that you've got to go back to reality now?" the witch asked.

"I have to… Even if you can slow down time in this place, I only have eight hours in the real world to do what I desire without seeming suspicious," I told her. "Even if you can stay up for forever and not grow tired, humans do. I'll sleep this off some other time, and then get to work on what I can for you."

"How many are you going to get me?" she grinned.

"Ten. I figure it might be… inspiring if I went through with it," I explained.

"Time to leave," the creature said, shooing me out. Her appearance had already begun to change into something a little simpler and more human-like. "I'm _expecting_ someone tonight. I figured you'd get me healthy, but… you gave me enough souls to retire already."

"Consider it generosity, for the souls," I said. "However, I don't like the fact that you're _expecting_… just keep me out of it and _don't mention it_, okay?"

The woman, now with a much more human-like appearance, nodded.

Taking out my notebook and clicking the pen, I wrote:

_After a successful deal, I awoke in my bed, not quite believing any of the night's events actually happened._

And so it was.

_(A/N): This is by far the most fun story I will ever write._

_By the way, some of this is part of a mini-series I was writing on my other blog... look up 'Conversation' and the first third of it (before the first '...') or 'Another Conversation' and the second third (after the first '...' and before the second '...') and you'll find it._

_By the way... References, references, references! Yes, there is a notebook, but it's not a _**Death Note**_; there was a name in there that points to _**Wicked**_ (the book/musical)__ and/or _**The Wizard of Oz**_ (the book/movie... duh); __I think that's it..._

_Count this as a crossover if you want to, but it didn't really fit well in that category: the nameless protagonist remains nameless the entire time._

_Give it a gender and pet name if you so desire.  
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	2. Two

_(A/N): This will get interesting, don't worry. Read._

Designing the story - creating the universe - was always the hardest part.

I had to make sure that everyone could understand it - I couldn't randomly send a flying knife through the air to stab the kid in the chest. I had to get the buttons on, I had to set up the death correctly, I had to make sure she stays captive - creating the universe and designing the death were hard to do.

But I finally settled on what I would do, after a billion ideas were sorted.

_Special Circumstances: __She leaned a bit too far._

_Cause of Death:__ Drowning._

_Location: The Garden._

Once I had that, I began to write.

When I finished, I published it.

And then I prepared for tonight's collection.

...

"Hello," I said. "Can I come in?"

"Did one of my sisters send you?" the woman asked.

"You could say that," I answered.

"Come in, then. What do you want?" she asked, curious.

"I have a... favor... to ask of you," I told her. "One of your sisters... she failed and had everything taken from her. I ask your forgiveness that I may take from your keeping the soul of the one she failed to."

"We aren't talking about my relatives, are we? We're talking about other worlds," she said casually, questioningly.

"Yes," I replied. "She hasn't eaten in so long... she needs the soul to be happy."

"I'll give it to you," the woman said, "under one condition. If she is me, she already knows it, correct? And you are probably aware as well?"

"I am aware of the condition," I told her.

The woman reached into a vase with some fake flowers in it and pulled out one of the many aquarium stones in the vase.

"This is it," she said. "If it does not reach my sister, I will kill you, understand?"

"You have more than enough to retire, I see," I said, eyeing the vase, three-quarters full of the silvery marbles.

"No, it's more of a time-wasting diversion," she said. "There were only two in there - the one you hold, and another."

"I am not here to take the other," I told her.

"Good," she grinned, "because the rest of them are waiting to hatch."

She then escorted me out the door. "Tell her I want one of your fingers," she said smugly before shutting the door.

I shivered, thinking of the eggs.

_(A/N): Curiouser and curiouser... hehehe..._

_Also, there was a reference to a theory I had only seen in one fanfic before, about the 'eggs'._

_To get it, you will have to read Other Gods by Marquis Carabas. If you have read it (or wrote it... I know you're there...), know this: I have assumed that once the soul is dead (a few centuries of forgetting can do that to you...) they can become so. Hehehe..._

_No, the reference serves as little more than some 'tension', you could say. The protagonist has already expressed that it is uncomfortable with the practices of the beldams._

_And there was some hidden foreshadowing there... hehehe..._

_And a link to more hidden foreshadowing... hehehe..._


	3. Three

_(A/N): Well, it's finished. Completely finished._

_Slip into the anonymous character. I have removed anything that defines it as anyone from my first drafts. Slip into it, and live in it._

_I know you'll like it... for I know you like the back of my hand... hehehe..._

"How many did you bring?" the lady-monster asked, eyeing me with her permanently unblinking gaze.

"All ten," I told her, taking them out of my pocket. The way she held out her hands gave me an uncomfortable sense of déjà vu – to avoid the guilt that would almost surely descend on me, I dumped them all on the table and avoided her gaze, instead pretending to be interested in a painting mounted on the far wall that changed its design every few minutes.

After I heard the marbles stop clinking, I looked up to see her looking even healthier and more beautiful than she had been after I gave her the first batch.

At a loss for words, I simply said, "One of them was very pissed off at you – thought you'd like to know that."

The witch grinned, showing the kind of pristine white teeth you only see on toothpaste commercials. "I'll take extra care with that one," she said sweetly. "I assume you're going to ask about our 'deal' now?"

"Yes, I was getting to that," I told her. I put my hand in my other pocket for a feeling of safety before continuing. "Exactly how immersive and dangerous can you make this reprise of my dreams?"

"As detailed as you like," the woman told me offhandedly. "I have enough power."

"I assume, however, that you're going to obey your alternate selves?"

She grinned. "Isn't it obvious? I'm just going to pretend that I'm trying to kill you, which will satisfy my alternate selves. You're not in any danger at all."

"I can smell your lie," I told her. "But I like consequences… perhaps I can become your button-eyed soul retriever instead of having death be the end?"

"I wouldn't count on it, smart one," she told me. "I'll do what I please with you."

"Let's get this started, beldam," I said, growing impatient.

"Third door on the left," she said. "It's a realistic world of lies I've prepared for you."

"Thank you," I said. I moved down the hallway and opened the third door on the left like she instructed me to.

On the other side was an exact replica of another room I had always wanted to see for myself.

I crawled through the little door in the corner. To stay in character, I let the premade lies soak in, and let the truth I needed to remember turn into nothing more than a half-remembered dream.

_(A/N): I don't have much to say._

_The next chapters should be up... just beware..._

_If you think it's fun now, I will be laughing when you wish it was not you... hehehe..._


	4. Four

_(A/N): Go on..._

TEN DAYS LATER

I finished writing the journal entry into the notebook. I'd been taking care to jot down every detail, so that I could remember it and savor the memories for however long I wanted to.

_Well, that was an exciting ten days or so. After I found out about the buttons, I let my memories return and tried to find a way out of the place._

_Took a few days. After I got thrown in the mirror (had no idea how cold the inside of the mirror was), I think it took me around… five?... days to find the exact spot she threw me through. Anyone can get through that thing, if you put yourself in the exact place…_

_Anyway. I fled the place shortly afterward. Too easy to find the key – it was in the fucking door – and then I got out of there quickly. When I got home, I found that the 'Parental Units' that had been installed were, naturally, gone. Now I have to go back and save the cheap pieces of shit that, believe it or not, I thought were actual parents a few days back. She did set up a pretty good mind wipe, holy shit…_

_I'm preparing to go back right about now… thank god I don't have to get any souls… I'm just gonna run around that hag's obstacle course for the fun of it. If I really wanted to, I guess I could just use the notebook to get the hell out of here, but… nah, it's not like I can do this again any time soon. I took a lot of time to get this stuff ready, might as well go on with the reward for it._

_See you later, future self. Have fun reliving memories._

I read it over again, laughing at it, thinking about how much fun I would have reading this stuff twenty years from now, long after I have a high-paying career doing this kind of thing.

I prepared to go back through the door. I made sure I had a pair of pants with no holes in the pockets, and a comfortable shirt good for exercising in.

"Let's see what you've prepared for me, beldam," I said to myself as I crawled once again through the tunnel. "If it's as good as the stuff you showed me before, it's going to be good."

…

It was far more than I could have hoped for.

I didn't bother writing a journal for it. I knew that, no matter what, I would be able to remember that run.

So now it was time for the final confrontation.

"I assume you aren't going to let me pass," I told the witch.

The needle-creature laughed. "You're not even bothering to stay in character anymore, are you? Not bothering to relive someone else's memories?"

"I like to live my own, thank you," I said. "That was why I agreed in the first place."

"Smart," she commented.

"So, let's say we shake this up. What kind of arena is this for an amazing battle of wits?" I asked, gesturing at the room.

The beldam grinned, and the room morphed into an open-air plateau in the middle of an erupting volcano. The only part that still looked like the house was the wall near the door.

"I like this," I told her. "Much more unique. The 'spiderweb of doom' was a bit overrated anyway."

The monster grinned an evil grin. She summoned a five-foot sword out of thin air, designed to look like a needle. "Draw your weapon," she laughed.

"What weapon do I need?" I asked her, grinning. "Weapons are overrated."

As she came in to strike, I faked a dash to the left and ducked to the right. But by the time I had picked myself up again, it was too late.

A strange knife I didn't recognize had flown out of the remaining section of the wall and stabbed me in the gut. I collapsed as our arena reverted to its normal state.

"Cheater," I told her, pulling the blade out of my chest. It was coated in my blood.

"It doesn't take me long to figure out how to kill someone with extra irony," she told me as I tossed her dagger to the side. "Please excuse me while I go get my sewing kit," she said before leaving the room.

_(A/N): You thought this would end well? Do you not know me at all?_

_Let's watch what happens..._


	5. Five

_(A/N): Would you believe me if I said I'd pulled a brick joke on you?_

"I didn't see that coming," I admitted to the beldam as she prepared her sewing kit. "You're good with knife and needle, I must say."

The monster did not answer. She just smiled at me – an evil, dark grin.

"No, I didn't expect this at all," I continued. "Some of it I did, yes – I knew you would try to kill me, but actually do it was a different story."

The beldam grinned. She looked uncannily beautiful in her current form: simple and dangerous; a complex style enveloped her. "So…" she asked, urging me to continue.

"You don't win," I answered. "I had insurance."

The beast laughed. "Where'd you hear that? The television?"

"No," I said, taking a small object out of my pocket, holding it in the palm of my right hand. "I've had this in my pocket since the time immediately before I agreed to the deal I made with you. Do you know what it is?"

The creature recoiled in shock. "You bitch!" she shouted.

"Call me what you want," I said casually. "I gave another client what they wanted in exchange for this spell. And ever since I agreed to that, the only thing that was keeping me alive was a marble in my pocket.

"And to the same client I gave another for a teleportation spell. If I ever close my right hand around this marble, it goes somewhere else, and I die.

"And so, when I close my hand, it goes into the possession of the one you lost to. I'm afraid you can't sew fast enough, my doll."

I closed my hand.

My last thoughts showed the future.

…

"No! NO!" the monster screamed over and over. It had lost twice, even when it should have won both times. She was cursed by horrible cheaters.

She kicked the discarded body once before going into a frenzy over it.

"Surely it can't have worked… it's a trick, a scam…" she kept telling herself as she searched the pockets of the body. All but one was empty, the last which held a folded piece of paper. The hand reached out and grabbed it, taking it out and unfolding it slowly.

She read the print that was spelled out on the page.

_Beldam,_

_If you're reading this, unless I gave it to you before I died, I'm dead._

_You probably know that by now._

_Just some tips._

_I'd work fast if you want to get revenge on the both of us. I told my other clients I'd be 'on business' for two weeks, after which point they will come to kill you, as you were my last appointment. You only have three days._

_If you see her, tell Coraline she's dead. Because she will be if you see her._

_But you won't. The door to her world is locked and the key is gone. Go ahead and cut off your other hand to shove under that door, but it won't do you any good. The only way to get us is to hire your own hit man, and I came of my own accord. You are isolated behind that door: you can't call anyone to you. And after you started letting me teleport in, I destroyed the key. It's gone. I may be dead, but I thought things through._

_Since I'm dead, I can call you anything I want without consequence. You're a manipulating bitch, I'll give you that, but you've lost your flair. You need to create something lasting and worthwhile if you want souls. You're easily blinded by the surface things – a world has to have depth to not be a lie. I saw the imperfection easily: one grain of sand on the carpet and the whole illusion collapses._

_You're an intelligent, manipulating bitch, once again. Last time you lost by cheating and so you will forever. I outsmarted you, beldam. And who cares that I'm not alive? Names never were an importance to me, anyway._

_Goodbye, asshole._

_I win._

_PS: It was a fun game we played, though._

_PPS: One of your alternate selves wants one of my fingers. You might want to get it to her quickly._

The monster threw the paper across the room and cried in frustration.

It was over.

_(A/N): Well, the last few chapters went quickly. I just had to get enough time to write them down._

_For those of you who had been looking for interesting tie-ins, there are two: __**Turn to Stone **__and __**The Last Rat**__. They both tie into this story, with Turn to Stone being more significant, and The Last Rat being just a little reference. In fact, I believe I've included a reference to just about every fanfic I plan to write or have written._

_Anyway, I hope that you're satisfied with this._

_Now, for the identity of the anonymous character._

_Believe it or not, you're _supposed_ to get immersed in this. You want to know why?_

_Because the character is _**you**_._

_The average fanfiction writer carries around a notebook, creating new worlds using little prompts and visiting them to expand upon them and find their secrets._

_So, now that we've dropped that bomb... time for the thank-yous!_

_I'm gonna make it short, because I just wanna get this published! Woo!_

_Thanks to FaeryGirlsRock and Jones Tereka Seasight for reviewing and the interesting PM conversations they sparked._

_This is the end._


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